When I see young couples...younger couples, (I admit, we are a young couple) I think to myself many things. None of which is "oh, they are going to be so happy together forever and ever!" Often times I think "if they only knew what lies ahead!" If we did know what was ahead, would we still get married? I would say most of us would. That is because although marriage is difficult, sometimes impossible, it is also so rewarding.
God didn't create marriage to make us happy, but to make us holy. My favorite summary of marriage in the Bible is found in Ecclesiastes 4:9-12.
"Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:
If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."
The idea behind this passage is that the "two" are in battle. Not with each other, but together, against an enemy. The two lying together symbolizes two lying back to back, protecting one another. I absolutely love this passage because it shows that one purpose of marriage is to give us a human companion to join our side in a spiritual battle. (paraphrased from Love and War)
So many times when a couple is recently married, still in the "honeymoon phase," we hear or say "just wait." We know that the troubles are coming, because we've been there. But there is another side to the story...
Just wait until the first time you get to call him "husband"
Just wait until you get to go on vacation together- alone
Just wait until you've had a hard day at work and he meets you at home with a hot pizza
Just wait until you get to tell him that you will soon be a family of three
Just wait until you see your child in his arms for the first time
Just wait until you feel rejected and discouraged and he encourages you with biblical truth
Just wait until it's bath time for the kids and you hear them squealing and playing together
Just wait until you've sworn this is the worst day of your life, then you get a text like this:
Just wait until you feel like you've failed as a mother, and he tells you you're the best mom on Earth
Just wait until you're driving near home, see a horrible car accident, and praise God it isn't him
Just wait until he surprises you with a vacation you've been hinting about
Just wait until you've messed up and he shows you forgiveness only seen through Christ.
Just wait.
The next time you come across a newly married or engaged couple, give them words of encouragement. All too often we focus on the struggles of this life instead of the blessings. My marriage is no exception to the rule. We struggle. At times we have struggled greatly. But I praise God that He can make anything new again. If you are at a time of great struggle in your marriage, remember it is a battle. Your spouse is your comrade, not your enemy. Focus on the true enemy, and get the help you need from God and others.
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