Pride Comes Before the Fall

 I just love the Bible. It is an amazing story of an amazing God who saved us from eternal separation from Him. That is the greatest, most life changing story in all of history. The Bible is also filled with great wisdom that many people quote without even realizing from where the quote came. For instance, this verse:

 

Pride goes before destruction,
    and haughtiness before a fall. Proverbs 16:18 (NLT)

 

First pride, then the crash—
    the bigger the ego, the harder the fall. (The Message)

 

 That is the TRUTH. I am guilty of living it out far too often. I've recently been reading, studying, and preparing for leading a study based on Lysa TerKeurst's Unglued. Pause for a moment: this book is outstanding for those who struggle with letting their feelings rip through others OR silently swallowing true feelings only to have them lose relationships based on false peace. God showed me this was the study for me in the most unexpected way.

 

 It was the day of the spring program for my older son. He was dressed and prepped and oh so handsome. On special days, I put a paste-like substance in his hair that we call "banana head." He likes to "help." A tiny bit, that is what he is allowed to put on his hair. A tiny bit turned into a glob when I wasn't looking and I let those words fly. The stress of re-washing and drying his hair was just too much for me in that moment. Now most moms probably don't tell their son that his hair is ruined and ugly...but we've all had bad mornings. I admit that shortly before this I rejected the idea of leading the Unglued study because I basically told God, "I got this. On my own, I got it." WRONG.

 

 Through the study I have been slowly making progress. Imperfect progress. I've been learning that I can never change on my own. God has been changing me. In fact, just Wednesday night, I realized that I had so much patience with the boys. I hadn't yelled in a few days, and it was a genuine patience and a heart of grace. "I got this."

 

 Wednesday night, I'm sure you can guess what happened. The fall. Baby was awake the entire night. Screaming. I had no idea what was going on, as he has been sleeping all night for over a year. I tried and tried to put him back in bed, but he was not having it. I prayed and sang and I fully leaned on God. I was still feeling pretty good about myself. Until I finally got in the bed and let my husband have it. He suggested that I do something different during the day. How dare he?! But it was me, I came unglued.

 

 The common thread in these cases is this: I thought I had it on my own. The truth is, no matter what the struggle, we will never "get it" on our own. Daily it is a surrender to the God who holds the world in his hands. I am still learning that I am not adequate to live this life on my own. I am not equipped without my Savior. I'll keep trying to take control, and He will keep showing me that it is not mine to take. But through all of this, I will make progress. Imperfect progress.