Jesus as a Fictional Character

 I'll admit it. The thought never occurred to me. Jesus not existing? Of course he existed...because...history! I'm very aware that there are many different ideas of God and gods, including the idea that God does not exist. But Jesus? I know you may not believe that he is the Messiah or that he is God in human form or that he is even the son of God. But...history! Well, it is true. There is a theory called the "Jesus myth theory" or "Christ myth theory." The theory states, as the name implies, that Jesus, the Christ, did not exist in human form or it is possible that he did not exist.
 I was confronted with this theory on a very controversial website known for taking theories and turning them into "facts:" facebook. I had to stand up for my Christ. But first, I must align my ducks. To the atheist or agnostic, I know I don't have a lot of "proof" that they might accept. But to the Christ-mythee (is that what they're called?) I know there is evidence out there. I mean, I've been around the block once or twice. I've seen the history channel. So where is this evidence that Jesus, the Christ, was a living breathing person? Ah ha! I found it...and more of it...from non-believers (that is, non-Christians). Historical writings reference Christians as Christ-followers and mention the death of Christ at the hands of Pontius Pilate. The writing I found very interesting was by Cornelius Tacitus, a Roman historian. It is located in the Annals XV.44. and can be read here. This writing by Tacitus has been validated by many historians and it is agreed upon by most that Christ did, in fact, exist. I can't reference this information, really, because it's all over the internet. Just google it. So, with this information, I stood up for what I believe. The other individual chose to stay with the beliefs he currently has.
 As for the atheist and agnostic, I think the only way they might be convinced is by having a "God experience." Or by witnessing one. If you search, you will see God in the very small and in the very big. Today I saw God where I can always depend on seeing him- in the Word. I opened my Bible at nap time to start a brand new Good Morning Girls study. I'm always hesitant to start new studies because I have a tendency to fizzle out. But God was calling me today and I listened. When I opened my Bible to Luke, this is what I saw:
 

 
 So yes, the non-Christian history about Jesus is out there. But I'm reassured by God himself that not only did Jesus live; He died, was resurrected, and is promised to come again. This was my God moment today. Not to mention all of this took place while BOTH boys were sleeping!

A Year Without Makeup- Day 10

 It is hard to believe that it's already been ten days. The first few days were hard and I thought about my bare face a lot. But now, it's just routine. A simple routine that I'm beginning to get used to and actually like sometimes.
 Day three was probably the most difficult day that I've had so far. That was due to a haircut that I'd scheduled weeks prior to my decision to get rid of the daily makeup. A haircut. Something to look forward to- time away from kids, being pampered by my sweet stylist, a perfect hairdo for at least one day (sometimes two if I don't wash my hair the next morning). Also, something I always have at least a little anxiety about. The reason is this- I walk in dressed in my average plain jane clothing with my average hair up in a messy pony and my average makeup applied haphazardly. Then I see them. Like hair models that have been grooming for their work day since the break of dawn. Using every hair tool ever created to make sure every strand is in the correct place. Applying their makeup to perfection so that it looks glamorous, but not overdone. Then completing their look with pinterest-worthy attire and accessories. The hairstylists. I'm already self-conscious about how I look, and then I'm told to sit in a chair facing the mirror and stare at myself for an hour while my hair is being cut. Yes, an hour. I have a lot of hair. Meanwhile, the hair beauties circle around me like sharks and I catch glimpses of them in the mirror as they pass. This all occurs on a normal haircut day. But remember, this was day three of no makeup. So my level of insecurity was off the charts.
 I did what I usually do and tried to avoid eye contact with my worst critic- me. This time I also did something different. I prayed. Then I tried to picture what God says about me. What does God say about me? Umm...okay...I'm fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139. I'm wonderfully made. What else?...?...Umm...What else?! Fear not, I'm always with you. Okay, that's a good one, but I don't know that it applies here. I wasn't really afraid. So I had an assignment for myself. Find out what God says about me and find out what God says about Godly beauty. I wish I could say that in the past week I've found and studied many, many verses about Godly beauty. But that's just not true. The truth is that I found this verse and have been trying to meditate on it daily:
 Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. 1 Peter 3:3,4 (NLT)
 There you have it. Don't be concerned about outward beauty. Focus on inward beauty and a gentle and quiet spirit. Okay, I can do that. Not alone, but I can pray for God to give me the heart and mind that pleases Him. But wait, it continues...
 This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They trusted God and accepted the authority of their husbands. 1 Peter 3:5 (NLT)
 They trusted God. That is beautiful. They accepted the authority of their husbands. I'll be honest, I had a hard time with this one. You mean to tell me that God finds it beautiful when I accept the authority of my husband? I mean, obviously, my husband will think that's pure beauty. This particular verse isn't the first time authority of husband and submission of wife had come to light in my Bible searching this week. Currently, this is not a big struggle for me. But is has been in the past, and because God seems to be steering me in the direction of these verses, I sense something is coming.
 In summary, this is what I've learned and stored in my "inner beauty" file for the week:

1. Don't be concerned about outer beauty
2. Focus on a gentle and quiet spirit
3. Trust God
4. Accept authority of my husband

 I have learned so so much in the past ten days about myself and my God. I have experienced things that I expected like insecurity and negative thoughts about myself. But I've also experienced God-given gifts that were totally unexpected. Confidence. Freedom. I feel good about me. The inside me. The me that matters to the only One that truly matters to me.

A Year Without Makeup- Day 1

Why no makeup?

 Nearly every woman in our society above the age of pre-teen wears makeup. Everyday. I have to include myself in that category because if I walk out of the house I usually have on some type of face cover. I've never worn much makeup, but foundation is a must for me. I have red cheeks and splotches, etc.
 The idea to forgo makeup for a year came to me today when I was getting ready and thinking about a story I heard. A woman covered up all of her mirrors and didn't concern herself with what she looked like for an entire year. I don't know the exact specifics, but I think she just rid herself of all beauty products. Of course, she wrote a book about this experience, which I have yet to read. But the story inspired me. Am I confident enough in my own skin without any "extras?" Do I believe that God is my only audience? Am I truly only concerned with what He sees in me?
 When I decided to attempt the year without makeup, the verse that came to mind was Proverbs 31:30. "Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised." I notice the verse does not say 'don't take care of your appearance.' But I, personally, for me and only me, feel like my outward appearance is far more important to me that it really should be. I still want to be attractive to my husband and I know God wants that for me as well. Thankfully, I'm blessed with an amazing man that loves me AND my appearance without any cosmetics.

I'm not there yet

 So, I promised honesty on this blog. I hope some of you women (maybe even men) can relate to my thoughts and feelings about this journey. The reason I chose to do this is because, like I mentioned, looks are important to me. Very important. What other people see when they look at me and their opinion of what I look like matters to me. I started this blog to share what God is doing in me and believe me, I could not do this without God. I have to constantly remind myself that what strangers or friends or family think about me (especially my appearance) doesn't matter. The following are some of the thoughts I had when debating this decision-

• I look okay without makeup anyway
• I'm hispanic, so I have pretty good skin
• I can still fix my hair and wear really cute clothes. ooh, I need new clothes now
• I have a clarisonic. I definitely need that. I'll have to be strict with how I use it
• what about pictures? ooooh, those will be bad
• parties? yikes

I have to keep reminding myself that all these things are dumb and don't truly matter anyway. "It's not about appearance, it's not about me." Repeat.

How I'm breaking the rules

 I'm not at all ready to give up all my hair products. I very rarely fix my hair anyway, but it's something I do for a date or a party. And hello, tweezers! Someone would have to pry them out of my dead hands. I'm just gonna say it- I have one eyebrow. One. You can't tell that I was born with one giant eyebrow across my forehead because I tweeze the middle of it to make it look like two. I won't even talk about my mustache (I'm hispanic, see above). Also, I've given myself permission to wear lipgloss or chapstick. I love lipgloss and how my lips appear isn't really a big distraction for me.

So, as you can tell, I have a long way to go to get to that point of  'God is my only audience.' I admit that I'm only calling this a "goal," not a commitment. I'm nervous about parties, date night, church, etc. When most women will be "done up." But I know true beauty is within and I'm confident that God will use this to transform me. If only He'd transform that one eyebrow into two. Until then, I'll hold on tight to my tweezers.

I took at least 10 photos until I got an "acceptable"