Abercrombie & Fitch. I'm Going There.

 Ok, not there literally. I haven't stepped foot in that store in at least 10 years. I don't intend to. It's not because I'm too big or not cool enough or pretty enough. It's because the clothes are made for teenagers and in my humble opinion... I don't have one because I haven't looked at the clothes there in 10 years.

 

 I'm sure by now you have heard the uproar about a statement by the CEO of A&F that was made years ago. In case you missed it, the quote published was  “A lot of people don’t belong (in our clothes), and they can’t belong. Are we exclusionary? Absolutely.” This quote, to my knowledge, was talking about 'cool kids' vs. 'not-cool kids.' His words, not mine in any way. The quote was then applied to the fact that the store does not carry anything larger that a woman's size 10. That is my interpretation of the controversy. Whether I'm reading this correctly or not is irrelevant to my point. (article)

 

 So what are we, as a physically larger society, going to do about this? "Solutions" have ranged from boycotting the store to giving all of our A&F branded clothing to homeless people to putting their children's line out of business. When I just read that sentence, I laughed. I'm sorry, but I did. It's craziness.

 

 In my mind I equate this scenario to high school. It is comparable to that one self-proclaimed "cool kid" that is only interested in associating with other people who they believe are worthy. For this comparison, we are assuming that the "cool kid" does not want to include anyone over size 10 or anyone who doesn't have the appropriate amount of money. He will also exclude those who are not "sexy" enough or "attractive" enough. There will be some who will be thrilled to be in this group, feeling some sense of worth for being chosen. There will be others who qualify in only some areas and still manage to sneak into the group. They will likely be the most hateful to the ones who can't get in. Then there will be others who will never be "in," no matter how hard they try. When I see this comparison, one thought comes to mind- why would anyone want to actually be part of this group? Don't we get upset and cry "foul" because we feel left out? Excluded?

 

 Continuing with this comparison, the majority of students (American women) will not fit into the mold required by the "cool kid." So the majority of students won't be hanging out with this group in class, at football games, parties, etc. The boycotting "solution" equates to this: because I will never be part of that group (or maybe I can fit in, but choose not to because what they are doing is wrong), I am going to tell everyone else I know in school to exclude those kids. WE will choose not to be friends with THEM. Yeah, that'll teach 'em!

 

 Worse yet, is the idea to give your branded clothes to homeless people. This is wrong on so many levels. In one way, we're saying "this brand is horrible, you take it." Even worse is using this to stick it to A&F by showing photos of people we put on the bottom of the social totem pole wearing their clothes. Doesn't this make us just like...them?

 

 I know you are so eager to hear my response to this. Not really, but if you've read this far, you might as well keep going. When I was in high school, I somehow managed to be part of the "in" crowd and part of the "not-in" crowd. The "not-in" crowd was so much more genuine. They were wise and honest and not concerned about how others viewed them. The "in" crowd was so concerned about how others viewed them that they lost sight of who the real "them" was. I'm saying this because I know. I was that. I was concerned about being thin, pretty, having the clothes, having the hair, fitting in in-general. It led me to self-hatred. Let me just say that if you are looking for others to validate you, you'll never be good enough for them. So here is my answer. Actually, God wanted me to pass it along to you. It is His answer. Find your identity in Christ.

You are chosen

 

 1 Peter 2:9

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light

 

 Ephesians 1:4-5

For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will-

You are His

 

 Galatians 4:6-7

Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, "Abba, Father." So you are no longer a slave, but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir.

You are beautiful

 

 Psalm 139:13-16

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

 If you have a teenager, pass this information along. She needs it. If you are, in reality, too old to wear clothes from that store (myself included), this is still truth that needs to be heard. It is incredibly wrong for a brand to purposely exclude people. But don't we all do that to some extent? We shouldn't react to sin with sin. If someone wants to shop there and fits the mold required, so be it. I'm going to choose to let this one go and I hope you will join me. Let's choose to not let a negative opinion of the physical me affect my opinion of me. Let's choose to not judge someone that fits the "mold" and wants to wear it. The real issue is not how a certain company views us, but how we view ourselves. Do we see what God sees?

 

 I admitted to having a superficial people-pleasing attitude when I was young. I'm thankful that God has taken that away. Now you can usually spot me wearing jeans that are well-worn and 1/3 my age, a comfy T, no makeup, and frizzy un-kept hair. That's just me, and I'm okay with that. No, I love that.

Dust Bunnies

 I think it's time for a reality check. Not just for me, but for all of you mothers of toddlers or any age children that spend the day destroying your home. So many things have been floating in my head about the reality of motherhood and living a life to please the Lord and being honest all at the same time. I've read blog posts and articles about the stress put on mothers to live up to all of the pictures and statuses on facebook glorifying their day, their children, their activities, and maybe just stretching the truth a little.

 I am guilty of mostly posting positive things on facebook. It's not because I want my life to read like a fairy tale. I just don't like complainers. Therefore, I try not to complain. I really do try to see the positive in my situations and sometimes joke about the trials of being a mom of two under the age of four. For example, some days I only have the opportunity to shower after dinner. Then I put on clean pajamas and call it a day. That's just the season I'm in, and I'm totally okay with that.

 I have a young girl and her friend coming over this weekend to bake. Let me just tell you, my house is a wreck. I mean, it's never in that great of shape, but someone might think a toy store exploded in here. Not only that, but I haven't cleaned the wood floors in weeks. I never knew what a dust bunny looked like until I had wood floors. Now they are everywhere. I also know why they are called dust "bunnies." It's because when you aren't looking, they multiply as quickly as bunnies. I once used the Swiffer to clean under all the furniture and my child asked "Mommy, what are you trying to get?" True story. When I think of the mess these young girls are walking into, I'm a little embarrassed. I want to clean it up, but then a thought crossed my mind. What if I don't clean it up and just live the way I live? They need to be told the truth about being a young mother. It would sound something like this: "When you are a young mom, if that is what you want to be someday, don't believe that other moms are doing better than you. Don't believe that they have it all together and their house is tidy and they spend all day frolicking with their perfectly dressed and well-behaved children. This is reality. Look around. The house is a little dusty and covered in crumbs, but my children are well cared for. The diapers all made it to the trash? Good day. No stitches or broken bones? Good day. Both kids napped? Great day! At the same time? Praise Jesus!!!"

 I want moms and young girls alike to know that what is important isn't your ability to teach your kids their alphabet by age 2. It isn't to spend every day of the summer doing something special. (Although my three year old might disagree, "where are we going today?") It isn't to have an immaculate home that is kept clean (this is impossible, BTW.) The important things to accomplish while being the mother of young children are to spend time with them and teach them about Jesus. That's it. If you have some extra time in the day, pick up around the house. If you don't, that's okay. You might not love every second with your child. That's okay. You might need to let them watch PBS all day so you can take a shower, dink a coke, and read. That's okay.

 I don't believe God wants us to compare our lives to other moms and try to determine if what we see on social media is fake or real. It doesn't matter. Don't let statuses or pins or tweets be the measuring stick for your life. Let Jesus be your measuring stick. It goes without saying, but Jesus didn't always have it easy. Yet he was thankful. He was thankful for what the Father gave him and for his responsibility on Earth.

 The reason I try not to post about my trials on social media is because I aim to keep my eyes so focused on God that the trials seem small. I try to be thankful for what I have and where I am, even if what I have is screaming at 3am and I am in my cozy warm bed. Of course I am far from perfect in these areas, but it is a goal. A positive attitude is born from a thankful heart.

They are taking a nap. In the kitchen.

Quotes I Hate...(don't like, I mean)

Facebook Phrases

I love Facebook to keep up with my out-of-state and formerly out-of-country family. I love to see pictures of kids and dogs and kitties. I like to know when there is a birthday, especially if the year is included and they are older than me. I love the funnies that are posted on there and I love to try to be funny. There are some things...that just...We have a saying in our home. Mostly my husband says it to me, but it's true. "You would probably be good friends with her if it weren't for Facebook." Let me just say, that is so true. Mostly the negatives drive me crazy. But also, the anniversary posts, new job/promotion posts, and the overall 'good people' posts.
 There is a reason why these bother me and it's not because I'm cold-hearted and hate my life. (Although Jesus tells us to hate our life, doesn't He? Luke 14:25-27. Yikes! need to work on that) Anyway, moving on. These posts annoy me because of these three phrases:

1." ________ years ago I married my soul mate!"
2. "Congratulations! You deserve it!"
3. "People are just good."

 People aren't good

 I'll start will "people are just good," because that one is short and sweet and just a very vague comment. Many times these 'good people' posts come about because of a crisis or some situation where the 'good' was seen. Don't get me wrong, there is ABSOLUTELY good in the world. But it only comes from one place- and it's not people. The only good in this world comes from God. Period. How do we know what "good" is, anyway? God. He puts it in our hearts and when we see it, we know. (Romans 3:10-12, Romans 3:23, Mark 10:18, side note-even Jesus loves a little riddle).

 I don't deserve it/You don't deserve it

 We deserve to be punished for our many sins. (Romans 6:23) The marriage, children, job, promotion, material things, food, clothing, etc. We do not deserve that. Those are gifts. A gift can not be earned and it is not deserved. Hmm, that one turned out shorter than I thought. Moving on.

 I did not marry my soul mate

 I know that I will one day. Jesus is my soul mate, and here are a few reasons why:

1. He is my friend  (John 15:15)
2. He died for me (John 15:13, Romans 5:8)
3. His love will never leave me (Romans 8:38)
4. He is perfect (Hebrews 4:15, 1 Peter 2:22)
5. He rescued me from death (Romans 6:23)


 There you have it. The reasons why those phrases irritate me. I think the most important part of this message is this- Although people aren't good, we don't deserve anything good, and we don't have a soul mate on this planet, God can work in us. He can give us good through Jesus Christ, who is the way, the truth, and the life. (John 14:6) He can give us our soul mate if we ask. And praise God, He can give us so much more than we could ever deserve!