Ok, not there literally. I haven't stepped foot in that store in at least 10 years. I don't intend to. It's not because I'm too big or not cool enough or pretty enough. It's because the clothes are made for teenagers and in my humble opinion... I don't have one because I haven't looked at the clothes there in 10 years.
I'm sure by now you have heard the uproar about a statement by the CEO of A&F that was made years ago. In case you missed it, the quote published was “A lot of people don’t belong (in our clothes), and they can’t belong. Are we exclusionary? Absolutely.” This quote, to my knowledge, was talking about 'cool kids' vs. 'not-cool kids.' His words, not mine in any way. The quote was then applied to the fact that the store does not carry anything larger that a woman's size 10. That is my interpretation of the controversy. Whether I'm reading this correctly or not is irrelevant to my point. (article)
So what are we, as a physically larger society, going to do about this? "Solutions" have ranged from boycotting the store to giving all of our A&F branded clothing to homeless people to putting their children's line out of business. When I just read that sentence, I laughed. I'm sorry, but I did. It's craziness.
In my mind I equate this scenario to high school. It is comparable to that one self-proclaimed "cool kid" that is only interested in associating with other people who they believe are worthy. For this comparison, we are assuming that the "cool kid" does not want to include anyone over size 10 or anyone who doesn't have the appropriate amount of money. He will also exclude those who are not "sexy" enough or "attractive" enough. There will be some who will be thrilled to be in this group, feeling some sense of worth for being chosen. There will be others who qualify in only some areas and still manage to sneak into the group. They will likely be the most hateful to the ones who can't get in. Then there will be others who will never be "in," no matter how hard they try. When I see this comparison, one thought comes to mind- why would anyone want to actually be part of this group? Don't we get upset and cry "foul" because we feel left out? Excluded?
Continuing with this comparison, the majority of students (American women) will not fit into the mold required by the "cool kid." So the majority of students won't be hanging out with this group in class, at football games, parties, etc. The boycotting "solution" equates to this: because I will never be part of that group (or maybe I can fit in, but choose not to because what they are doing is wrong), I am going to tell everyone else I know in school to exclude those kids. WE will choose not to be friends with THEM. Yeah, that'll teach 'em!
Worse yet, is the idea to give your branded clothes to homeless people. This is wrong on so many levels. In one way, we're saying "this brand is horrible, you take it." Even worse is using this to stick it to A&F by showing photos of people we put on the bottom of the social totem pole wearing their clothes. Doesn't this make us just like...them?
I know you are so eager to hear my response to this. Not really, but if you've read this far, you might as well keep going. When I was in high school, I somehow managed to be part of the "in" crowd and part of the "not-in" crowd. The "not-in" crowd was so much more genuine. They were wise and honest and not concerned about how others viewed them. The "in" crowd was so concerned about how others viewed them that they lost sight of who the real "them" was. I'm saying this because I know. I was that. I was concerned about being thin, pretty, having the clothes, having the hair, fitting in in-general. It led me to self-hatred. Let me just say that if you are looking for others to validate you, you'll never be good enough for them. So here is my answer. Actually, God wanted me to pass it along to you. It is His answer. Find your identity in Christ.
You are chosen
1 Peter 2:9
But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light
Ephesians 1:4-5
For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will-
You are His
Galatians 4:6-7
Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, "Abba, Father." So you are no longer a slave, but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir.
You are beautiful
Psalm 139:13-16
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
If you have a teenager, pass this information along. She needs it. If you are, in reality, too old to wear clothes from that store (myself included), this is still truth that needs to be heard. It is incredibly wrong for a brand to purposely exclude people. But don't we all do that to some extent? We shouldn't react to sin with sin. If someone wants to shop there and fits the mold required, so be it. I'm going to choose to let this one go and I hope you will join me. Let's choose to not let a negative opinion of the physical me affect my opinion of me. Let's choose to not judge someone that fits the "mold" and wants to wear it. The real issue is not how a certain company views us, but how we view ourselves. Do we see what God sees?
I admitted to having a superficial people-pleasing attitude when I was young. I'm thankful that God has taken that away. Now you can usually spot me wearing jeans that are well-worn and 1/3 my age, a comfy T, no makeup, and frizzy un-kept hair. That's just me, and I'm okay with that. No, I love that.
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