The Other Giving Tree

 I wanted an upside-down Christmas tree. I needed an upside-down Christmas tree. Partly because I read about it in Ann Voskamp's blog. Mostly because I'm a little strange and unique and it just "fits." The tree should represent a Christmas that is opposite to the Christmas of wanting and receiving. I'm picturing it as a tree that selflessly gives. (There should be a book about that.) In my mind, when a traditional Christmas tree is flipped over, all the gifts that are gathered under it will come spilling out. We might be left with nothing. Which is precisely why I need that tree to remind me: we need nothing. Yet we want everything.

 

 

 

 When I began thinking about the gift-giving, I didn't get all excited or stressed out. I had a plan. The plan was to give, give, and give. That is, to give to other individuals who are not part of my family. Strangers, lost people, found people, kids in need, and those who just want. I was going to strategically pick just a couple of gifts for my children and one for my husband and be done. I didn't want anything and I definitely don't need anything.

 

 Then it happened. I innocently went to a store, with a red bull's eye on it, looking for a gift for a child in need. It took me a while to find the specific item she had requested. Suddenly, I was in the boys' department admiring the magical new toys and allowing my eyes and ears to be hypnotized by their call. Every time I walked by a certain train, it sounded out "choo, choo." I moved on to look at other items, only to return to that aisle and again hear the "choo, choo." My boys would love that train. We already have a train, but it doesn't make sounds.

 

 I caught myself. I knew I was there to shop for children in need, and not there to shop for me. Because, let's be honest here, when I'm shopping for my children, I'm really shopping for me. I want to see their joyous expressions when they open those gifts and gaze upon them for the first time. I want them to spend hours playing while I have a little mommy time to myself. I want them to repeatedly tell me how great my present-picking skills are and that I'm the best mommy in the entire world. I, I , I...

 

 Putting others before myself was proving to be harder than I'd thought. I needed a clear plan that I could objectively measure. So I focused on a goal for our family Christmas gifts this year. The idea was actually stolen from my older sister. I am not condoning stealing during the Christmas season. Or any season. But especially not during Christmas. Or ever. Moving on: The idea comes from Luke 2:52. "And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and with people."

 

 There will be four total gifts per child: one representing wisdom, one for stature, one that strengthens their relationship with God, and one for their relationship with people. Santa may bring one extra toy some years, but this year they will be included; mommy and daddy aren't spending any more money.

 

 That brings me to a second goal that we have this Christmas: To spend as much or more money on others than on our own family. I love this goal because it simultaneously puts the focus on giving more to others and giving less to ourselves.

 

My helper. We I wrapped gifts for foster children. He played with cardboard

 

 I'm confident that this will work for us and for our children in years to come. Of course they want and will want all the toys that will break in a week or will be shoved to the back of the closet until clean out day. Then they will shout "Hey! I forgot about this!" and play with it for another hour. But after that, it's done. There are no lasting benefits to the "stuff." But hey, I'm not knocking the "stuff." That is what we include with the relationship with man: things like games, shared toys, etc. This year I also used toys geared toward wisdom. They are called "educational toys." If you want to overload them with "stuff," that's where Nana and Grandma come in. (wink, wink)

 

 We are so incredibly blessed to be able to give to one another. Gift giving is my primary love language, so it's natural for me to want to give and give and give to my children. I'm learning more each day that they really just want me to give them my time. I play trains with the little one and he pushes his around the house saying "choo, choo!" Then I realize, I am the best mommy in the entire world.

 

Our tree has evolved to include prayer and Christmas cards

They Say It's Your Birthday!

 Thanksgiving is over, which means it is officially the start of Christmas celebration! I am so very excited to begin listening to Christmas music, decorating, and giving gifts! For weeks I have been thinking of ways to make this Christmas very special and hopefully begin some traditions of our own.

 

 It is your birthday! We are so excited to celebrate that we've taken extra time to get everything prepared. You see, we look forward to your birthday all year. It always passes too quickly, so sometimes we start getting ready a little early. We decorate by putting up lights all around the city. It really is a beautiful thing. There are so many songs that honor your birthday, with new ones being written every year. Young children dress up nice and perform those songs in front of an audience of parents. Each family has their own unique traditions. But there is one tradition that most people agree on: the giving of gifts! Even though we may not admit it, we love receiving gifts as well. Because we love you so much, we spend lots of time and money to give the best gifts. We give these gifts to each other, because it is your birthday. I just feel like maybe we have forgotten something...

 

 Please remember to honor Jesus this year by giving more than material gifts. Don't forget to honor him by reserving the best gifts for Jesus alone. How can we give gifts to Jesus?

 

The King will answer and say to them 'Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.' (Matt 25:40)

 

 For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited me in; naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me. (Matt 25:35,36)

 

 There are so many ways to give to Jesus! Here are a few suggestions:

• Make or buy goodies for your local service men and women
• Pay for the meal or drink for someone at the drive through, a cashier at the store, anyone really
• Sponsor a wish list or single gift for children in need in your area
• Sponsor gifts for elderly people in your community
• Volunteer wrapping or sorting presents through a local organization
• Volunteer at a homeless shelter or food kitchen
• Send animals or monetary gifts to children in need in other countries
• Contribute to a community to provide clean water
• Sponsor a child in need

 

Some websites to visit are the following:

• World Vision
• Compassion
• Blood-water mission
• Kids to Love
• Chickens and goats

For you: A giveaway! Leave a comment saying what you have given to Jesus this year for His birthday, and you will be entered into a drawing to win a $50 Target gift card. There is no need to be specific. (I.e. gave to a child in need; volunteered locally; made treats to give away, etc.)The winner will be drawn January 1st, 2014.

 

This post is not sponsored. There is no purchase necessary to be entered into the drawing, just be creative with how you give. Immediate family members are not eligible to win. Each person will only be entered once. Anonymous comments are welcome, but I need to know your name to put into the drawing (private message, if needed). If you would like to add to the giveaway by providing a prize, awesome! Message me.

Galations 6:4. No Comparing

 I can honestly say that I have mostly stopped comparing myself to other women. I read blogs about the biggest mistakes that women make and comparing is always one of them. I think to myself, "I haven't done that in a while, I'm doing pretty well." But the Holy Spirit convicts, and He convicted me. When I said that I don't compare myself to other women, that is true, but only in the superficial sense of the word. I try to avoid the comparisons of looks, style, possessions, raising children, husbands, experiences, etc. But there is a type of comparison and envy that I struggle with, and that is the spiritual one.

 

 I often think of others gifts and personality and long to be like "her." I want to know the Bible like she does. I want to have such a clear vision of God's plan for me, and she makes it look easy. I want the always joyful, bubbly personality that makes it so visible that she is following God. I have prayed about jealousy and the root of these desires. I believe that there is a sincere longing for a closer walk with God, but also a selfish desire to be viewed as "godly" by others. Over the past few weeks, several truths have been revealed to me:

• I have to put in the work

• God has made me with unique gifts

• Every gift is important and has it's place

• God created my personality

Put in the Work

 

 In Lysa TerKeurst's book Unglued, she states that envy often arises from another person being successful in an area that we wish to be successful. I have found this to be true in the activity of running. Yes, running. I see posts of what I consider to be amazing runners. Moms, women with many kids and responsibilities, and they are fast. I wish I was that fast. But if I am honest with myself, I can wish all I want, but I don't put in as much work as they do. I run occasionally and expect to get faster and better.

 The same is true in my spiritual life. If I only pray occasionally and only pick up my Bible every once in a while, I can not logically expect to grow in the Lord. Then I see others moving forward and wonder why I am not like her. We must put in the work. Just like with exercise, when we start seeing results, the work becomes joy.

 

I Have Unique Gifts

 Even with much more work in the area of running, I will never be as fast as an Olympian. I wasn't created for that. Some people are born with a natural athletic gift. When we are born into the kingdom of God, we are given gifts.

 1 Corinthians 12:4 states "There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them." The same idea is reiterated in 1 Corinthians 12:11 "All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he distributes them to each one, just as he determines." The gifts are distributed by the Holy Spirit at the moment we invite Christ into our lives. They are different, but each one important.

 

Every Gift is Important

 1 Corinthians 12 is an amazing chapter on the gifts given by the Holy Spirit. We need each other in the body of Christ. Every single member is important and cannot function without the others. If you are a hand, do not waste your energy trying to be an eye. This will result in frustration and missing the calling of God for your life. Of utmost importance is chapter 13 of 1 Corinthians. Whatever your gift might be, if you do it without love, it is useless. "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." (1 Corinthians 13:13)

 

God Made Me

 Psalm 139 says "you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." If you are churched, this verse is familiar and maybe committed to memory. Don't lose the truth that God works wonderful miracles in the womb, and each one of us is precisely who He meant for us to be.

 I can have joy and love for others in my heart and still be a quiet spirit. I was not created to be a bubbly, outgoing woman. Christ knows my heart and what I am doing in his name and to make him known. I desire to have that personality because at 32 years old, I still want to be popular. God knows that I can't handle popular, so He designed me this way. It's okay to not be the smiley, bouncy, outwardly cheerful one in the group. We need those women, and they need us.